If it's time

If I could cry I would.
Too many tears to shed.
If I could die,
I would dig my grave for now.
Too much pain in life to live with.
If I could mail my heart to you
To witness the abuse,
maybe then you would understand.

Smiles and laughter are forbidden.
Love seems to cease me.
Saddness seems to haunt me.

All I need is one to protect me.
Embrace my heart
Accept the way I love.

A lover would smoothe my pain,
One to hold me till then,
It won't be love.
But it would be of the somewhat.

Dreams seem to haunt me.
Ghost come and go.
Where is yourlife? they ask me.
It's like a bleeding game.

Joy and love is non-exsiting for me.
Don't you understand?

If I could cry, I would.
If I could die, I would dig my grave for now.
If I could mail my heart to you,
to witness the abuse.
Maybe you would understand.